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United States
'''The United States, '''or as referred to by its citizens, '''Murica''', is the only first-world country in North America. It became a sovereign nation in 1776, and after fighting a war to BTFO the anglo swine, set itself apart from the rest of the world with a generous constitution, containing rare rights such as the right of freedom of expression and the right to own a firearm. Even though the United States is not the freest nation in the world [[Autism|depending on who you ask]], it's taken most of the Europeans 240+ years to catch up. History Before the event of independence that all Americans get a boner to, the United States was a colony that was controlled by the British. Americans fought the French and some indians in the French and Indian war. After beating up those snobs, American lived a colonial life under WASPs for a few decades before some rich guys with wigs said, "What if we ''don't ''let ourselves get ruled by a bunch of assholes overseas?". The 'Murican independence war was less of a war about the Americans vs. Brits and more of a gang-rape by European powers agains the British (they deserved it lol). After the pump-and-dumpers were kicked out of the United States, they established a very loose confederation that was pretty based, but after a few federalist fatasses got mad a new constitution was made, which was still pretty based but not quite as much as the original confederation. Meanwhile in Europe, a hero named Napoleon Bonerpants was smashing through all the shitty, corrupt monarchies in Europe. Needing money, Bonerpants offered to sell [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louisiana some fucking shithole] to the USA for a few million dollars. Of course, we accepted because muh manifest or something. Also, the United States fought the British ''again'', except this time [[Autism|they burned down a building which the Canadians consider proof they won the war.]] The United States also fought the Spanish and got a bunch of shitty fucking islands and also released the unholy abomination that is Cuba into the world. The United States entered the Great War because Germany attacked some civilians, which was great for propaganda. They also entered World War 2, except this time they were actually important because they fought in Spaghettiland, destroyed the Japanese navy and their empire, bombed the fucking shit out of Germany along with Britain, and opened up the path to Berlin to the Soviets, [[Autism|which they consider as a military victory solely for them despite the fact the Allied forced did 99% of the work.]] After that shitty war, the communists in North Korea start the next major world conflict by invading South Korea. Nothing really happened there, except [[Autism|the North considers the Americans imperialists now for trying to stop their invasion of South Korea.]] A bunch of Vietnamese killed each other because one group wanted a retarded dictator or something and the Americans lost (lol). The United States also fought in Iraq a bunch of times because the Sunni are retards who kill each other a lot for shitty, infantile reasons. Nowadays the United States is the world's most impressive western nation and a shining example of capitalism. This country is home to most of Politigram. LMAO IMAGINE SPENDING 30 MINUTES ON THIS